WTF Wednesday: Query Pyramid Schemes

Okay, so I'm still in shock about this one. I've gotten the bogus emails from Nigeria before--you know the ones asking you to give them your bank account, so they can make a deposit of oh, 50oK or so, and then you'll magically get 10% of it for simply allowing them to transfer money through them. Actually, I got that one many years ago in snail mail as well.

So this morning through my post haze 3:30 am bedtime after Eclipse's Midnight Showing, I peer down at my iPhone to see the following email:

*I did decide to block out the agents names, this person's email, and phone number*

From: BLANK

To: BLANK
Sent: Wednesday, June 30, 2010 3:18:58 AM GMT -06:00 US/Canada Central
Subject: Query from India

Hi there,

Greetings from India.

A recap, since that is needed, please.

In December, I landed myself three agents from the UK and US for my Indian reincarnation historical novel set in strife-torn, anarchic British Calcutta during 1885-1905.

They were BLANK of the Maggie McKernan Literary Agency in the UK, and Blank of the US.

I chose BLANK as she was absolutely fascinated by the book.

After several revisions, I suddenly got a mail from her day before yesterday saying she was opting out for personal reasons.

I am devastated since we had planned to begin submissions in July.

Over the phone, she told me that she was taking leave from agenting for an indefinite period because of some personal crisis.

She has, however, been kind enough to refer me to some of her colleagues but frankly, that does not excite me.

The novel, which was meant to hit NY next month and is at 98k words after revision, is thus now up again for rep.


Would you care to have a look, please?


BLANK says she has not submitted the MS anywhere.


I am willing, of course, to share all correspondence that I have had with Patty.

Thanks

BLANK


Deputy Editor

New Delhi, India

Ph: and ( Pl feel free to call anytime)*I blocked out their number.

--

WTF?

I mean, I'm not an agent.....I don't even play one on TV, so I'm not sure why this person is emailing me asking for representation. Not to mention, it's not actually SENT to me. WHAT?Plus, I love the line about how they're not too thrilled by being recommended to the agent's other colleagues. Um, why wouldn't you want to do that rather than having to start all over? It reeks of ick as well when showing all correspondance from the other agent. Um, does she know that? If she is an actual agent....I'm still half asleep people so I haven't done all the leg work!

Sighs....so, after getting this, I'm thinking there's enough wtf's to make it a weekly segment. And that is fairly frightening!!

Where the Hell Have I been & How GotYA got me!!!!

Howdy peeps,


Yeah, I just realized that it had been almost a month since I posted. So, where the hell have I been? Was I lost in the desert somewhere like the Grizzwalds on their hellish crusade aka vacation to Wally World?















Um, no.

I wish I had that good of an excuse, but sadly, I don't. To go this long without blogging is...scary and shocking and slothful and a whole bunch of other "s" words. I promise you that the big L has gotten in the way....yep, life. Things have been rough, but there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Changes are coming my way. I can't really say for certain what they are yet, but this time next week I should be able to.

While my personal blog has suffered, I have been blogging over at my group blog GotYA. Here's some of my posts:

Flashback Fridays: 80's and 90's Toys...I even vlogged for this one....it's scary!

Flashback Fridays: 80's and 90's Fashion

Flashback Fridays: Memorial Day Salute to Veterans

Flashback Fridays: Summer Vacation Memories

Flashback Fridays: Summer Vacation Reads

Besides LIFE being scary and sucky, I spent a few days at Hilton Head. Love, love, love Hilton Head and the beach, but this time I had a little snafoo when I tried to come in around noon from the beach. Never worn flip flops on the beach before when I was there....didn't have them on thsi time, and what happen? 2nd degree burns on the bottom of my feet! Yes, I know, CRAZY! I ended up not getting to go back to the beach on Thursday, and thankfully, I made it back on Friday. My left foot is STILL healing. Yeah, not good.

Then this coming Thursday, I leave for Washington DC to attend the ALA conference!!!! I've never been to DC before, so I'm going up a few days before the conference, so I can see the sights. I'm also so pumped about meeting the authors at the conference along with some writing buddies too!

Tomorrow I promise to post blog awards since people have been kind enough to bestow them on me even when I suck at bogging lately!

I Haz a Teaser Tuesday!!! It's from "Hello Again, Gaby Briggs"

So, this is really different than any YA I've written. It's from Hello Again, Gaby Briggs, a crazy, kooky, and just plain fun to write. I've got almost 6K into it, and fortunately, the agent really likes it. So, here's a scene that kinda went a little longer than I wanted, since it's supposed to be snippets, but I hazn't teased in so long it got the best of me!

My eyelids fluttered as I strained to wake up. When I stretched, searing pain radiated through my body. “Ow!” My usual lumpy mattress felt hard as marble.

“Gaby!”

Zoey’s incredulous voice broke through what felt like a drug induced coma. “Yeah, yeah, I’m awake. Give me a minute or two, kay?” I grumbled, as I turned over in bed to come face first with a wad of grass. “What the…” My eyelids snapped open.

It wasn’t the usual comfort of my bedroom. Inky black darkness enveloped me except for the faint amber glow of a circle of flickering candles. Squinting my eyes, I tried to make out the things around me. Flowers, maybe a tent in the distance, and then I gasped.

Headstones.

I bolted to my feet. Zoey stood in front of me, white as a sheet. Well, even whiter than her usual gothlike persona. “Z-Zoey, w-where the hell am I?”

“McKinley Memorial Park.”

“And why am I here?”

An odd smile curved on Zoey’s lips. “Because you died,” she said, in a hushed whisper.

I fought the urge to say, “Why are we whispering? Are we afraid to wake the dead or something?” Instead, I cocked my head at her, “Well, isn’t that fabulous. And here I thought I’d been dragged along with you to some weird Vernal Equinox celebration or something.”

Zoey didn’t respond. Instead, she lurched forward like a baby taking its first tentative steps. A shaky hand reached out to touch my shoulder. As soon as she touched me, she jumped back like she’d been bitten by a snake or something. “Holy shit!” Her head full of dark hair shook wildly at me as she started weaving in and out of the circle of candles. “I did it. I really fucking did it! Oh shit!”

Since I was used to her kookiness, I chose to brush off the grass and weeds stuck to my dress. Wait, I was wearing a dress? And a fancy one at that. I brought my hand to my forehead. This was all so confusing. “Um, Zoey?” I questioned, as she continued her erratic weaving and mumbling. “Can you tell me why I’m at McKinley Memorial Park wearing my best dress in the middle of the night?”

She snapped back like a rubber band. Her wild eyes met mine. “I just told you.”

“Yeah, uh, you told me that I’d died, which is, you know, interesting and all. But I’m thinking I might have been dead drunk at best, but literally flat-lined dead, nope, don’t think so.” But when I stopped to think about it, I didn’t remember drinking. I cupped my hand over my mouth and puffed in a few breaths. It was a little stale smelling maybe, but it didn’t reek of alcohol.

“You’re not drunk, Gabs,” Zoey said.

“Look, we’ve been friends too long for you to be punking me like this. What’s next, Ashton Kutcher’s gonna come rising up outta a grave like in the Thriller video all decomposing and stuff?”

Zoey brought her hands to her hips and narrowed her eyes. “I’m not punking you. You died, Gabs. You know, deceased, expired, bought the farm, took a dirt nap, etc.”

I drew in a deep breath. “Okay, look, I get it. You’re still epically ticked at me for the way I’ve been hanging out with Samantha and dressing like, as you call it, “a coked out Gossip Girl reject”. So here it is. The big apology you’re obviously so desperate to get that you’re willing to drag me out here to the cemetery in the middle of the night and try to freak me out with some story of my death. I.am.SORRY!”

We stared each other down in the shadowy glow cast by the candles. Finally, Zoey motioned her head towards something behind me. Slowly, I swiveled my head. Squinting, I surveyed the headstone I’d been leaning up against. My blood ran cold. “Gabrielle Elizabeth Briggs. Beloved daughter and sister,” I read in a shaky voice.

It was a surreal moment—like the world skidded to a halt and jolted every molecule in my body. The muscles in my legs melted like wax, failing to support me. The next thing I knew, I pitched face forward to the ground and literally ate dirt.

Flashback Friday: 80's and 90's Fashion and Fads

This week over at GotYA we're talking about the Fads and Fashion of the 80's or 90's, depending on when you grew up. I'm kind of a child of both the 80's and 90's. Since I was born in 1979, I spent most of my childhood in the 80's, and then most of my adolescence and teens in the 90's.

So, I took a little stroll thru the family albums, and here's a few things I came up with and/or what I was able to scan in, lol. This pic is at my kindergarten graduation with my mom and grandmother. What I like it is captures both the fashion of childhood and adults. There's polka dots and bows on my mom and big beads on my grammy. Then whenever I got dressed up in my childhood, it was in the big dresses with crinolins, patent leather Mary Jane's, etc.

I totally had a purple Members Only jacket when I was little, and last night, I could not find the picture where I was I sporting it! My grandaddy bought it for me, and my cousin and I had matching purple ones. He, on the other hand, had one in almost every color! It was epic.

Ah, Swatch Watches....I loved these growing up! I probably had a couple.

I found this pic and totally snorted out loud at the fashion...er, maybe lack thereof. I'm sporting a Mickey Mouse hat, which was huge in the early 90's where I'm from, along with the epic "ghetto fabulous" Bugs Bunny and Taz t-shirt. Gotta love the length of the shorts too!

You probably didn't get out of the early to mid 90's without doing Glamour Shots at a local mall. Extreme hair and makeup along with four costume choices and voila, you could be on the cover of Vogue....or not, lol.

These are some of mine, and they HILARIOUS! You gotta remember I was 14 at the time....I look 30 if I'm a day!!!

So what were some of your favorite trends?

Sunday Slobber...a day late and a dollar short!

Okay, I'm the epic of blogging suckiness lately. I'm totally feeling the summertime crunch. I have 15 days left of school, 10 real days of teaching. Our last week is finals, and we have half days for the teachers and kids. But here's the thing: I just wanna be out. I don't wanna grade. I don't wanna teach. I don't really wanna do anything, lol. But I must!

(1). REVISIONS....I HAZ THEM!

So, I'm on Part Deux of The Guardians Agent Revisons. The good news is I had a real breakthrough on what my agent wanted to me to do, so once I have more time(or once I can make myself focus for long periods of time!), I think I can tear through it!! Even though it's frustrating, I am really proud of how far TG has come since it's original revision on January 09'. It really goes to show the power

Here's just how far TG has come....it was like Chance when he was a little puppy, and then it's grown to a big, gallumping, dog! LOL It's hard to imagine he was ever that small!

(2). Household Projects: This is Chance being a couch potato on the couch in my Office...well, it used to be the Office. I'm doing some remodeling/reworking, and I've moved the couch into the bonus room where's there's another love seat. I'm also hoping to paint the office as soon is school out. I'm really excited. I'm thinking of deep red, and then I wanna paint the bonus room as well. I, uh, have never much painted, so we'll see what kinda craziness occurs!

Flashback Friday: The Songs that Stayed With Me

Today's Flashback Friday is on the Songs that Stayed With Us. You know, those songs that when you hear them, you're instantly transported back to another place in time? The good times, the bad times, the crazy, fun, insane times? Well, here's a look back at some of mine! Not only do I mention some of the songs, but I'm also flashing back with some props from back in the day!

When I think of the first "tapes" I owned and my first "ghetto blaster", I think of two songs True Blue and Born in the USA. They were the first tapes I had to play on it, and I probably wore them out. Songs by Madonna take me back to my early childhood, jamming out to Material Girl, Papa Don't Preach, and True Blue. Whenever I hear Born in the USA, I think of my dad who was a HUGE Springsteen fan along with the fact that it references a Vietnam Veteran's issues readjusting to life after the war. My dad proudly served in Vietnam.

Hearing Tiffany's I Think We're Alone Now reminds me of elementary school and all the great times I had playing dolls and Barbie's with my cousin, Andrea, or my good friends. I have a lot of Tiffany on my iPod, and when I hear this song or anything by her, I'm instantly transported back to those times.

Here's a bag o' Barbie's, lol. I kept most of the ones I had from when I was little. Was I tempted to brush their hair and straighten their clothes when I took the pic? HELL YES! LOL

Here's my puppy, Duke, checking out some of my Barbie's....he srsly wanted to chew their heads off!

Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch's Good Vibrations takes me back to 7-9th grade Tap and Jazz classes at The Academy of Dance Arts. We always stretched and warmed up to thumping songs, and this was one of them. I can hear the opening chords, and I'm back with Ms. Terry, my teacher, learning dances...and also considerably thinner!! LOL

Here's some of my old dance costumes....yes, I do keep EVERYTHING! LOL

It's kinda a strange music for a cheerleading dance, but for some reason, we danced to the a remix of the opening of AC/DC's You Shook Me All Night Long when I was Varsity Cheerleader. Whenever I hear the opening of that song, I seriously start to count off in my head, and I can still remember the opening 16 counts and dance moves to that! LOL

Here's one of my old uniforms along with my letter jacket.

Deana Carter's Strawberry Wine is the essence of my Senior Year. I can remember rolling down the windows on my fire engine red Eclipse and cranking the cd player to insane decibels. Then my best friends, Kim and Tiffany, and I would sing at the top of my lungs. It's a song about going back to a particular time in my life, and I know that I can never go back to that special, carefree time in high school.

What about you? What are some of your "songs that stayed with you?"

Steph Su Reads EPIC, and I do mean EPIC, Contest for ARCS!

This contest comes from Steph Su. http://stephsureads.blogspot.com/2010/04/big-spring-giveaway.html

"One extra cool and lucky winner can receive the following Arcs: The Gardener by S.A. BodeenShe's So Dead to Us by Kieran ScottStolen by Lucy ChristopherShadow Hills by Anastasia HopcusShade by Jeri Smith-ReadySigned books:Inside Out by Maria V. SnyderThe Heart Is Not a Size by Beth KephartAnd yes, the books are signed!"

Then 1st Runner Up gets the following goody pile from authors. Basically, lots and lots of stuff that authors have given me to distribute, etc.The first runner-up winner will get the following pile of swag:

And the second runner-up will get the following:

The giveaway is open INTERNATIONALLY and ends Friday, May 7, 2010. Less than a week people, but you can do it!!!